hate myself...

i lie to myself that i wan to forget you but i din't.
i lie to myself that i will less love you more but i din't.
i lie to myself that i will be more happy but i din't.
i'm said that to keep a distance between u and me,
coz i dun wan give you so much of stress, u sick, emo, unhappy...
i can feel it too... i felt my heart already link to you...
its hard to tear it off... its pain... its sad.... its emo... its suffering...
easy to say that i can let it go, i will forget it, i would never think of it...
but all these are lies...
i did put too much feeling in this relationship that make me suffer..
i dun know you wait or not waiting...
i just like a stupid waiting for the right or wrong answer...
its not because of right or wrong or not important at all...
 i just want a correct answer that i want really to know... i wan to ask...
the answer maybe yes or no, but maybe i dun know...
why in this world have the answer i dun know...
what kind of answer is this... i really no idea for it...
no one step out the 1st step or even step out also...
no one dare to confirm that it will be happen better...